Who’d voluntarily climb to the top of the world’s largest mountain-carving-in-progress, Crazy Horse Memorial, in the southern Black Hills of South Dakota 21 times?
They would!
Photo Credit: Rachel Knight
Meet Marty and Ray.
These retired 70+ year old Sioux Falls, South Dakota residents always permanently mark the first weekend in June on their calendar.
Making this 36th Annual Spring 10K Volksmarch (an organized hike) extra special for them was their whole family, including their two granddaughters, joining in for the 6.2-mile round trip woodland ramble.
“For two decades this event has been the hallmark for the beginning of our summer activities,” said Marty. “The weather is always an unknown in the Hills, but we revel in enjoying spring for a second time…smelling lilacs and crabapple trees in their prime.”
Unpredictable Weather
2021’s record heat made the hike on the dirt trails and gravel work roads a bit more rigorous. Organizers were prepared with four check stations on the pathway along with fund raising refreshments and port-a-potties. Roving trail monitors and medical professionals for those needing assistance were also available.
Marty nearly had to call it quits with the onset of heat stroke symptoms. The family paused while she rested in paltry shade and consumed plenty of liquids, allowing her to continue onward and reach the turn-around point: the arm of Crazy Horse directly in front of the nine-story-high face, which was completed June 3, 1998.
2021 Changes
According to Marty this year there were a few unexpected changes with a $20 fee to get on the grounds. “In the past they asked participants to bring canned goods and the fee was waived.” The hiking fee is $3 per participant or $20 for the hike and a medal. Plan your hike. https://crazyhorsememorial.org/visit/special-events/volksmarch
“There is such natural beauty along the way. We enjoy visiting with guests from across the USA. And the view from the top is truly spellbinding.”
NOTE: The hike averages two to four hours to complete. Hikers are encouraged to pace themselves due to the terrain and peak elevation (nearly 6,500 feet above sea level.) The trail rises about 500 feet up to the mountain on hilly, rough terrain with some steep inclines. Infant strollers and pets are not allowed.
In addition, this year’s hikers had the opportunity to visit with the 17 workers carving the monument.
Marty added, “The monument is a true testament to the creativity of man and aptly represents the dignity of Native Americans.”
“I don’t know if our granddaughters will ever accompany us on the climb again. I do know they felt a sense of accomplishment for completing the six-mile event. They also experienced a new appreciation for the history and beauty of the Black Hills.”
Plan your visit and meet this retired teacher and health scientist on the trail in June 2022-God willing, their 22nd Volksmarch.
The Family photo taken by Crazy Horse Memorial Representative
Linda Leier Thomason is a former CEO who writes freelance business and travel stories, along with feature articles. Her work experiences include a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Find out more about Linda by clicking the “Meet Linda” tab above. Interested in working together? Complete this form below.
If you’d like to have Linda write about your community or event, contact herbelow.
Independence, individualism and self-sufficiency are encouraged and admired in our country. There’s nothing wrong with any of these traits. Nor is there anything wrong with needing or seeking help at any stage of life.
The challenge arises with aging.
As our bodies and minds change it becomes apparent help is needed in multiple ways. Sometimes the suggestion of help is stubbornly refused. Actual help is rebuffed.
Letting go is not always easy.
Help may seem unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
We may need help in the business of our daily lives and/or with our healthcare. Either way, if you’ve forever been self-reliant, it can be a tough adjustment.
Denise’s Advice
“I can assure you from my 30+ years of experience working with adults making transitions in life that getting a trusted professional in each of the 5 categories below, sooner rather than later, is a very wise idea.”
Make the important decisions regarding your life and your affairs while you can.
We work with the best in each category and we never take a referral fee from them.
Here are the top 5 Professionals to have on your side as you age.
Geriatrician
A geriatrician is a primary care physician who specializes in the care and treatment of older adults.
Parents visit pediatricians for their specialized training and understanding of babies and young children. On the other end of the spectrum, geriatricians are also specially trained and have an understanding of the most advanced care available for older adults.
One of the best features of being cared for by a geriatrician is that they integrate your care. They are the central point for all of the other physician specialists you may need to see. They make the referrals, set the appointments and follow up with you. They are your primary doctor.
NOTE: There is a difference between a gerontologist and a geriatrician.
A geriatrician is a medical doctor. A gerontologist is a professional who specializes in the issues of aging. They may have a certificate of gerontology.
This professional is helpful throughout your life but especially as you near retirement.
Financial advisors counsel on wealth management and personal money matters. They can assist with putting together a retirement savings plan and also address life insurance, real estate, debt payoff, and estate management.
Most financial advisors also work with your team of other professionals like attorneys and accountants to ensure your money is working in the best way for your needs.
As challenging as it is to ask for help with financial planning, medical care and legal advice, admitting you need help managing your life within your own home seems even more difficult for many seniors.
The best thing to do is make a list of tasks that you, or your loved one, seems to be struggling with. Some may include:
Personal hygiene like bathing, brushing teeth, toileting, putting on clean clothes, shaving, etc.
Mobility like taking neighborhood walks or even getting around inside the home.
Meal preparation. Everything from grocery shopping to the actual cooking.
Transportation needed for medical appointments and errands
Pet care including walking, taking to appointments, clean up, feeding, etc.
Housekeeping including laundry
Medicine management
Many services are available to assist in meeting all of these needs to help you or your loved one remain safely and easily in the home.
Contact us for assistance and referrals.
Transitional Specialists
This is what we are at Craft LifeStyle Management.
We transition clients into the right place, staying within their financial resources, the first time, all the time.
We advocate on your behalf in a timely and calm manner as we find you the most appropriate ‘home’ and level of care to fit your needs.
HINT: Be sure to click on the + sign next to each category to get more information.
Please be prepared in life. “Be in Charge. Not in Crisis.”
These 5 professionals will help coach you so you can be at peace while aging. Of course, there are other professionals needed. Today, these are my top 5 for you to have on your team.
Written by Linda Leier Thomason for Craft LifeStyle Management.
Denise Craft founded Craft Lifestyle Management in 1988 to ease the burden for families of aging, veterans, special needs adults and those in rehab during times of transition. She understands what’s involved in transitioning any individual from their personal home to their next home and to end of life. Her seasoned knowledge of available placement services, housing options, eligible benefits and payor sources, and community resources is endless.
Please contact Craft LifeStyle Management for all of your transitional needs.
Diane was greeted at 3rd and Surf with a generous Swag Bag from Clear Lake, Iowa Tourism.
Diane Shared Her Winning Trip with Family on Mother’s Day Weekend 2021
“Wow! What a great time we had. I can’t believe what a great swag bag the chamber created! It was very generous. The 3rd &Surf is a great place to stay! https://www.vrbo.com/7719438ha There is a room separating each sleeping area so no one disturbed anyone else. They have great amenities. 4 bikes to choose from, games for rain and cold days, lots of towels, etc. I would definitely recommend friends stay there. It is close to everything. We had a great day for bike riding on Friday. Saturday was a little cold and rainy day.
Clear Lake is a great place to visit. We will go back during season and experience the other activities. I am so glad we were able to visit Clear Lake.
Thank you to all who made it possible, including Rumorz Bar & Grill, Cookies, Inc., 3rd and Surf VRBO and the Chamber of Commerce!”–Diane
The family enjoyed a long bike ride along the shoreline. Bikes provided by 3rd and Surf.Enjoying the great outdoors offered in the area. Priceless. Three generations creating memories together in Clear Lake, Iowa
Stay at the Shore & Explore
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear of Clear Lake, Iowa?
If you’re a certain age, maybe you associate Clear Lake with a plane crash.
In fact, American rock and roll musicians Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and “The Big Bopper,” J. P. Richardson, were killed in a plane crash near Clear Lake, Iowa, together with pilot Roger Peterson on February 3, 1959.
The tragedy was later known as “The Day the Music Died”, after singer-songwriter Don McLean referred to it this way in his 1971 song “American Pie”.
While this unfortunate event is associated with Clear Lake and the community continues to pay proper reverence to those who lost their lives in this accident, Clear Lake is a vibrant, progressive lakeside community you should visit.
Plan Your Clear Lake Visit
Order your travel guide in advance at www.clearlakeiowa.com and follow them on Facebook ClearLakeIowa, Twitter @VisitClearLake and Instagram @ClearLakeIowa for the latest updates.
Stop in and visit the Visitor Center at the Clear Lake Chamber of Commerce at 205 Main Avenue or call them at 641.357.2159 or 800.285.5338.
Where is Clear Lake?
Travel Time to Clear Lake by vehicle from
Omaha: 3.5 hours Des Moines: 2 hours
Minneapolis: 2 hours Sioux Falls: 3 hours
Chicago: 6 hours St. Louis: 6.5 hours
We visited in early September 2020-during COVID times. Check all websites for current COVID restrictions, if any.
Top 8 Overall Impressions
1. Cleanliness. Everywhere we went was spotless-from city parks to public restrooms to highways. Litter and graffiti seemed non-existent. Community pride prevails and visitors, like us, notice and appreciate it.
2. Non-Clogged Roadways. Bumper-to-bumper traffic is not appealing to us, especially when doing a leisurely lakeside drive. The roadways, in and around the area, seem to be designed for great traffic flow.
3. Appreciative Merchants. 2020 has been a tough year for restaurants and retailers. Each business we visited expressed heartfelt gratitude for our visit and purchase. Support small, always.
4. Diversity of Lodging Options. Not only is the variety of architecture appealing, so are the many lodging options. Read below.
5. Plenty of Excellent Dining Choices. Plan ahead. There are so many excellent dining options in this community. We can’t wait to return to try more of them.
6. Ease of Access to the water and a very walkable downtown. There is plenty of parking, making it convenient to stop and walk the downtown area and the shoreline.
7. Availability of Amenities to Encourage Tourism, like clean, modern public restrooms in the downtown shopping area and by the Clear Lake City public beach. Enjoy the splash pad and water rainbow for children of all ages near a public restroom. Sit in the shaded city park. Use the well-maintained walking and bicycling pathways along the shoreline. Depart from, or tie up at, the public access docks.
8. Goodwill Offering Attractions. There is plenty to see and do in the community, in addition to water activities like fishing, kayaking, boating, swimming, paddle boarding, etc. See below.
Activities & Attractions
It rained during our entire three-day stay. Yet, we got out and explored the area rich in attractions.
There’s a great mix of indoor/outdoor activities in Clear Lake-perfect for all types of weather conditions during your visit.
A small memorial is located at the place the plane carrying Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, “The Big Bopper” and pilot Roger Peterson crashed. It is on private property between corn fields. If you visit, please be respectful of the land and the crash site.
Directions to Memorial Site
From US Hwy 18 in Clear Lake, go north on N 8th Street for 4.7 miles.
When the paved road curves to the west, take the gravel road to the east (310th Street), then immediately north again on gravel (Gull Avenue).
At the t-intersection of Gull Avenue and 315th Street, you will see a set of large “Buddy Holly” glasses. You may park along the side of the road and walk along the south side of the fence to the west for approximately one quarter mile.
Check the website for upcoming events and operating hours.
Goodwill offering/donations encouraged.
Take a self-guided tour or arrange in advance for a guided tour.
Marvel at the ballroom (1933). Stroll the museum. Purchase at the gift shop.
HINT: Notice the pineapple wallpaper in the entrance. See the phone booth where Buddy Holly called his wife and Ritchie Valens his manager the evening of February 2, 1959.
Lady of the Lake is an authentic paddle wheel excursion boat offering scenic tours of Clear Lake. Contact them for boarding and departure times. Times are also posted at the City Seawall.
It was a perfect location for our desire to explore the downtown area and have easy walking access to the beach and city park.
The property is well furnished in a quiet neighborhood.
The owners have thought of virtually everything a traveler would need for a fantastic get-away to Clear Lake, Iowa. There’s even a screened outdoor gazebo and a fire pit to enjoy on cool fall evenings and bicycles to explore the charming community.
Notable Clear Lake Events
There is always something to do and experience in Clear Lake, Iowa
Confirm event schedules prior to traveling.
COVID restrictions may alter the event and schedule.
The Color the Wind kite festival features serious kite flyers from multiple states displaying their collections of unique kites, banners and ground displays over the lake in front of the downtown sea wall.
Entrants must be age 25 or older. USA Citizens only.
Winner is responsible for making reservation through provided VRBO website and agrees to all conditions of rental property stated on site.
Transportation to & from Clear Lake, IA isn’t provided.
Winner agrees to forward three (3) photographs taken during the trip and five (5) sentences about their experience to www.lindaleierthomason within seven (7) days of completing their trip. Images may be used on social media outlets and on this website.
Winner Notification: Winner will be chosen at random on Tuesday, December 15, 2020. Winner will be notified via email. Response must be received in 24 hours. If none, another winner will be randomly chosen.
Prize is non-transferable. No cash redemption or substitution will be allowed.
Winner assumes all responsibility and releases lindaleierthomason.com and all prize donors and sponsors from all liability.
By accepting prize, winner understands and agrees to all contest rules.
Immediate family members (spouse/partner, children, grandchildren and parents) of prize sponsors, Clear Lake, Iowa Chamber of Commerce and/or www.lindaleierthomason.com are not eligible to enter.
This contest is done in cooperation with the Clear Lake Chamber of Commerce https://clearlakeiowa.com/whose members and staff welcome you to stay at the shore and explore.
Enter & Win 2-Night Stay
November 2020. Linda Leier Thomason All Rights Reserved.
This means seek permission before using copy or images from this site. Images are available for purchase.
Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.
If you experience any payment difficulties. Send a message and we’ll be glad to get in touch with you.
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In a perfect world, you know where you are moving to and answers to these questions are a great way to begin downsizing and decluttering:
What is the floor plan?
How much space will you have?
How many closets? What size?
What is the square footage of the living space and the bedroom?
Is there a garage? Are there shelves in it?
Are there rules for what items you can bring into your next home?
Will your furniture fit the living space? Measure everything with a tape measure. Avoid eyeballing and estimating.
Does your furniture fit through the doorways?
Is the kitchen much smaller? How many cabinets are there and how many drawers?
Sentimental Items
Try to appreciate the sentimental value of items as you sort. For example, fondly recall the memories of your wedding dress and/or your military uniform. Ask yourself if you can release these items now.
Can you take a photo of them as a keepsake memory? If so, upload photos, videos and irreplaceable mementos to a hard drive or cloud storage.
Seriously ask yourself what your children will do with these sentimental items after you are gone? Keep in mind what is sentimental to you may not be to them.
It’s okay to be disappointed if they do not want your “treasures.” However, try not to let this disappointment affect your relationship with them, adding stress to an already challenging time.
HINT: The more sentimental an item is to you, the higher value you will place on it.
Sorting
Here’s an idea that makes sorting and downsizing less painful.
Take a video or photo of each room in your home before you start. This way you have a record of everything, especially anything you have a tough time releasing.
Sorting takes time. It can take countless hours to thoughtfully go through items you’ve been accumulating for decades.
Pace yourself.
Start early.
Enlist help, if needed. Keep in mind family will often suggest ‘you don’t need this’ or ‘throw that in the trash.’
HINT: Do not ask the family or friends whom you know will give their thoughts before you have your own moment to decide.
Know what you value and stand your ground. If you truly treasure something, keep it.
By room, place items one-by-one into one of five piles:
1. Keep-take to my next home. A good rule of thumb is one of each item. This rule is especially helpful when sorting a kitchen. For instance, one water pitcher, one cake knife and server, one corkscrew, etc.
HINT: Craft LifeStyle Management places emphasis on the “Keep.” This will be opposite of many helpers, including family.
We believe focusing on the Keep will help you quickly see what’s important to you-what you value.
HINT: Bulk items like laundry detergent and shampoo may no longer be a good fit for your smaller, downsized space.
2. Donate to one of many local charities happy to pick up your items. Or, ask family members if they need an extra bedroom set or kitchen appliance. Again, try not to be upset if they are not interested in your ‘discards.’
Do you have a collection of, for example, musical instruments or books? Find an organization that will make good use of these items. It makes the releasing less painful knowing your items will be deeply appreciated.
HINT: Over time, Craft LifeStyle Management has developed many creative ways to release to organizations. Let us share those with you.
3. Trash. Craft LifeStyle Management can recommend ways to downsize and prepare for a move without the obvious driveway dumpster.
4. Sell. Some items, including vintage clothing, might be worthy of selling online. Also consider selling items at a local consignment or antique shop.
HINT: We suggest “testing the market.” If your children, extended family, friends and neighbors are not interested in the items you are not taking to your next home, then it’s not likely they are worth the time it takes to try to sell them. Instead, donate or discard the items.
5. Maybe. If the “Maybe” pile is almost everything, then it is time to enlist professionals to help you walk through this challenging journey. Finding out “why” you are not releasing items will help you get going again.
Comfortable Peace
Downsizing involves making tough decisions. Each item goes into one of these five piles.
The goal is to touch each item only once as you place it into one of these categories and then release it.
If you can see the things you want right in front of you and feel at peace, then you are on the right track.
Craft LifeStyle Management likes to call it “comfortable peace.”
If, instead, you are anxious or feeling upset, it is time to ask for a little help. Craft LifeStyle Management is glad to work through this process with you.
HINT: Plan to take breaks. Downsizing can be emotionally and physically overwhelming. If your ‘helpers’ are planning to show up early and stay late, this may not be the most productive plan for you. Once we are tired, we can’t make clear choices. You don’t want to regret a release because ‘you couldn’t think straight any longer that day.’
Craft LifeStyle Management can help guide you during this process and ensure you aren’t throwing away or donating valuables and that you are at peace with all of your transitioning decisions.
Paper & Storage Units
You may have storage tubs or file cabinets in your home full of paper. Paper like utility bills, bank statements and/or tax filings from decades ago.
You don’t need to move all of this to your next home.
Before you shred everything, reach out to an accountant or financial advisor and ask how long you are required to keep certain documents.
Keep those and shred all others.
HINT: Today most statements can be found online, making the accumulation of paper unnecessary.
If you have “treasures” in a storage unit. Go through these items as you would the possessions in your home. Keep, Donate, Trash or Sell.
How Can We Help You?
Transitioning to your next home requires decluttering and downsizing.
Yes, it can be difficult. It is also exciting.
Let us know how we can help you as you prepare for this transition.
Let’s just say you’ve been married for more than a decade. Maybe 26 years.
You profess your greatest strength as a married couple is “communication.”
You’ve weathered and remained intact through multiple life challenges, including job changes, relocations and medical issues.
Most often you will claim your spouse as your “best friend.”
Then the world abruptly changes in early 2020 and you’re spending 24-hours a day, seven days a week for months on end with this person.
Are your claims and proclamations the same? How well do you really know the person you are living with? Can you stand being around one another all the time?
Do you know how they’d answer questions like this?
Who or what challenges you?
Would you ever set up a nanny cam to spy on someone watching your kids?
What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
Who’s someone you’d like to trade places with for a day?
How long do you think you’ll live?
Has anyone, or anything specific, ever made you feel inferior, if so what?
What opportunity do you wish you would have taken?
It’s downright alarming how one can “know” someone for decades and not really know with certainty how they’d answers questions like these.
Priceless Clearance Book
I stopped at a bookstore in early 2020 and without much thought bought this $5 clearance book. I randomly flipped through the pages thinking this could be fun answering some of these questions and headed to the cash register.
Instead, this $5 book has proven priceless to our marriage.
It’s offered me rich, deep insight into a man I’ve known for over 30 years.
Wednesday Nights
When I introduced the book to Ken, I framed it as a COVID Wednesday night activity. Sort of like a “date night”-something we always professed to do but never seemed to get around to actually doing.
Admittedly, we were both a bit tepid when we started this exercise. Each Wednesday, we’d take turns randomly choosing a number between 1-2000 and start asking each other the questions on the two pages, dating the pages and recording our responses in writing.
Some weeks we’d sit on the back porch after work completing this exercise, others on the sofa. As time went on, answers seemed more thoughtful and insightful and the awkwardness lessened. And, I, in particular, looked forward to seeing what questions would be asked and how we’d each respond.
Discoveries
Here’s a few things I’ve discovered.
I cheat. Ken takes longer to answer the questions than I do. I give top-of-mind answers knowing that if the same question was asked on another day, my answer could quite likely be different. But, at that moment in time, this is my response. So, while he’s pondering and reflecting, I skip ahead and answer the questions he’s supposed to ask me when I’m done asking him. I need to refrain from turning everything into “cycle time management.” Yup. This exercise isn’t only about partner-discovery but also self-discovery.
Ken likes chocolate. One can imagine with 2000 questions that there’d be some repetitive answers throughout the book. However, he answers a lot of questions with “chocolate.” For instance, “What food describes your personality?” Ken’s response is chocolate. Mine is watermelon. Or, “If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what would it be?” Ken’s response was chocolate. Mine was a Grammy’s Award Show producer. Ken admittedly and consistently likes chocolate. This is not new learning for me but it’s nice to see he’s consistent.
Memories are resurrected. Many of the questions uncover buried childhood activities or memories. Listening to one another share these stories has been enlightening and fun. Stories and answers offer a lot of insight into the way one another responds to events and issues today. We grew up in very different environments; Ken in Louisville, Kentucky in a family of four and me on a North Dakota diversified farm in a family of 11. Imagine the stories being shared through these questions we may have never thought to ask one another.
People have many layers. In the business world peeling back the multiple layers of an onion to get to the core is used as an example of how to understand a problem. This same principle applies, only it’s not a problem, it’s a person. What this exercise has clearly proven is that there is a lot of joy in going beyond the superficial and peeling back the layers and getting to know the core of the person you love, perhaps the longest.
Men also like sharing deeply. The stereotype about men being emotionally closed off and too manly to answer questions like those in this book is repeatedly proven wrong. Ken could have very easily stopped this weekly activity. He could have used sarcasm and humor to answer the questions, not giving it serious attention. He didn’t. About the third week in, I got it. He actually enjoyed sharing, recalling and being listened to. It doesn’t make him less of a man. It makes him more of a human and more known to me.
Wednesday nights now are sacred. We purposely avoid scheduling other activities at this time and do our best to avoid distractions like phones, the Internet and TV. The book is an adjunct to the date-one week planned by Ken, the other by me.
It’s taken us quite a while to reach this point in our marriage.
Good Choices & Happiness
But when question #1212 was asked: Do you think happiness is a choice? Ken responded, “Yes” on June 3, 2020 and I, “Certainly. Work at making good choices.”
Buying 2000 Questions About Me was a wonderful choice leading to much discovery and happiness in our marriage in 2020.
September 2020. Linda Leier Thomason All Rights Reserved.
This means seek permission before using copy or images from this site. Images are available for purchase.
Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.
Do you have a story idea or interesting person who’d be a great feature?
To you it’s clutter. To them, they’re valuables. Maybe treasures.
The sight of ‘junk’ blocking hallways and piling up in each room disgusts you.
Stacks of paper everywhere cause worry about fire hazards.
The odor sickens you. You gag. Gasp. Cry.
You’re Angry! You have been here in this exact place so many times.
You’re embarrassed, and maybe even ashamed, that your parents live here. They ‘caused’ this.
Both parties agree you own “excessive treasures.”
You’ve stopped visiting as the piles of treasures began growing.
Your children, their grandchildren, have never visited.
You deem their home unsafe, and them unstable.
You beg, hope and pray for it to stop and to go away.
It doesn’t.
They remain socially isolated and lonely in what you call squalor.
Hoarding Disorder
Hoarding Disorder is a clinical diagnosis.
Did you know that up to 1 in 20 of the elderly have tendencies that are consistent with hoarding?
A study by researchers at Johns Hopkins revealed that about 4% of the population as a whole shows hoarding behavior, but that percentage goes up to 6.2 in people over 55.
It has emotional, physical, and even financial or legal implications.
Hoarding can have a devastating impact on older adults:
Risk for falling: Will emergency workers be able to reach them after a fall, or anytime?
Poor hygiene: Is the bathtub/shower full of papers or empty bags?
Fires, mold and mildew in the home
Poor nutrition: Spoiled food can cause foodborne illness
Rodents and insects in the home
Utilities. Air conditioning, heat and running water. Are they turned off? The freezing cold is as dangerous as the heat.
Other medical problems, including depression
It can also indicate the presence of Alzheimer’s, dementia or mental illness.
5 Ways to Help Elderly Hoarders
1. Join them for a medical evaluation
Since hoarding is almost always connected to mental health or other health condition, it’s likely your parent may need professional help. Schedule a full medical evaluation for them and then go to the appointment and any follow-up visits. Learn if their hoarding behavior is caused by dementia, Alzheimer’s or other condition. If not, psychiatric care may be needed.
Denise Craft of Craft Lifestyle Management, who has worked for over 30 years with elderly hoarders, says all hoarders have a “dis-ease” of the soul from this learned behavior.
2. Start small and make it a special event
Acknowledge that the process of decluttering your parent’s home is going to be hard and require a ton of patience. Bring a good attitude and try to make it conflict-free. Perhaps you can call it “Memories Monday” or “Super Saturday.”
Remember, every single item, down to the scraps of paper, IS important to them.
Agree you’re going to stick to a weekly calendared date and identify which room will be worked on for each date.
For instance, start in the bathroom and remove expired medications and old make-up. Or the stairways where you remove stacks of papers and shoes, etc.
Be sure to acknowledge their ability to let go of these items, many hazardous to their well-being. Keep in mind, each item they’re willing to discard takes a lot out of them and may be considered a victory. Show them they can do it, together. And, of course, never start decluttering without the owner’s cooperation.
3. Sort with a System
Remember, you’re coming into their home causes stress and chaos in their already chaotic life. They may feel threatened and find many excuses not to proceed. Be gentle, kind, compassionate and always patient.
In addition to identifying the day of the week for sorting and decluttering, also set up areas where sorted items will be placed:
Charitable donations
Valuables and keepsakes
Trash
It does not help the soul to contribute to the hoarding behavior by agreeing to rent a storage unit for your parent during this sorting and decluttering process.
There are ways to negotiate with them on this specific topic.
Keep the focus on their safety and your concern for them.
4. Acknowledge sentimental items
Many hoarders hang on to items because they consider them unique and irreplaceable, attaching great sentimental value to the item.
Listen to the story and/or the memory of the item. Ensure it doesn’t have great monetary value. If not, suggest taking a photo of the item to keep the memory alive rather than keeping the item. Again, be patient. This process takes time and assurance.
5. Hire an outside company
Sometimes the clutter and the family dynamics and emotions are too much for loved ones to handle.
Walking into this environment can cause ‘paralysis’ Not knowing where, or how, to begin.
Craft Lifestyle Management has been assisting families in these situations for three decades.
Written by Linda Leier Thomason for Craft LifeStyle Management.
Denise Craft founded Craft Lifestyle Management in 1988 to ease the burden for families of aging, veterans, special needs adults and those in rehab during times of transition. She has a special place in her heart for those who collect excessive treasures. She understands the conflict hoarding often causes within families and frequently mediates the process with and for them. If you have a loved one who collects excessive treasures and you need assistance, please contact Denise at Craft Lifestyle Management http://craftlifestylemgt.com/contact/.
Every summer I’m bombarded with pleas to vote this business
or that as the Best of Omaha in their category. This lobbying is not unique to
Omaha. It was the same deal when we lived in Sioux Falls, Charleston and
Atlanta.
I’m not naive. I know this is a way to raise advertising dollars for publications. Businesses run ads begging for reader’s votes and then run another ad congratulating themselves as winners.
It’s all a bit narcissistic and self-serving.
I give little credibility to businesses topping the
categories.
At best, they have a more sophisticated marketing/lobbying
staff and perhaps more advertising dollars too.
Rarely do they convince me to vote for them simply because
of their marketing prowess.
What Makes a Winner?
What defines best of any business category for me has remained constant for decades:
Exceeding customer expectations
Prompt and satisfactory response to customer inquiry
Community involvement.
Maybe I’m an odd duck—one not influenced by marketing
noise, but
I Always Vote & Buy From Businesses That
Buy an ad on the back of a church bulletin
Manage a customer complaint with tact and peaceful resolution. [This doesn’t mean the customer is always right. It means they listened and offered agreeable solutions.]
Are led by those who hire, reward and retain outstanding staff
Have entrepreneurial spirit
Are involved in the community-sponsoring youth teams, supporting Rotary and other civic organizations and showing other ways of ownership in their hometown
Treat me both like a lady and a valued customer with a brain
My 2019 Best of Omaha Winners
Appliance Sales: Scott
Saalfeld at Lowe’s 3333 N 147th Street Omaha NE 68116
I visited every appliance retail outlet in Omaha.
By miles, Scott knows and understands his products and his
customers better than any other sales person I encountered. I felt heard and
guided to the best appliances for my needs.
He is well trained on products and customer service. Scott
listens. He follows through. He appears well respected by his team members and
managers.
I had zero auto body repair experience when entering this
business. I left feeling confident in the consultation, price and process. Since
our relocation to the Midwest, I have never felt more appreciated as a customer
than at this Omaha business.
It’s the simple things: the owner shaking my hand and thanking
me for my business while a staff member started my car and cooled it down for
my exit.
Best New Product: Damp Rid Moisture Absorber-Genius of an idea; Works wonders in our basement https://damprid.com/
This family owned business has been serving the Omaha area since 1982. They know the business and they know how to keep their customers happy, including us.
Drywaller: Alberto Salcebo 402.598.5945 20+ years in the industry (2019) Responsive, Competitive pricing, Polite.
Manicurist: Ly at Paris Nails 3665 N 129th Street Omaha, NE 68164 [formerly Pretty Nails] 402.452.7172 (mobile #)
Simply the best. Call or text her directly 402.452.7172 to schedule your appointment.
Plumber: AP Plumbing
(Tony) 402.669.7249
Clogged water lines are like calculus equations to me. Foreign. Tony sent Curt to replace pipes in our home. In very lay terms, I described what I saw as the problem and his experience led him to a simple, affordable solution. Curt respected our property and cleaned up perfectly after himself. AP Plumbing is always welcome in our home.
Real Estate Agent: Megan Owens, Owens
Real Estate Group at Berkshire Hathaway Home Services 402.689.4984 http://owensregroup.com/
Megan has now worked with 3 generations of my family. She connects with and guides each buyer to homes ideal for their needs.
She’s simply outstanding with customer service and deserves your business.
Strangers Paying for Our Meal at AJs Café 5146
North 90th Street Omaha, NE 68134
We’d heard about this Café from many Omaha residents. Imagine our surprise when our server told us another patron had paid for our meal after hearing it was our first time there.
People are good everywhere. This is just another example of human kindness.
Contact them for a free consultation and estimate. We’re
sure glad we did. Their response time and automated systems are built for busy
family lives. And, our birch tree stood up to the Japanese beetles, again.
What does a business have to do to earn your loyalty?
SHARE your answer below.
The most important thing you can do for any business is REFER them.
And, if you’re a business that received the referral, be sure to say, “thank you” to the referring source.
Is there a business I should add to my list? Let me know.
LIKE & SHARE this post. It’s a great way to REFER a business doing good work for both customers and their community.
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Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.
I am not a film critic. I am one who appreciates a well-told story on film. The actors are almost always secondary to a good story for me. And, I rarely read the book before seeing the film. I don’t compare the printed word to the visual storytelling. I prefer to experience each separately.
It was a long, cold winter. We watched more movies than usual.
These five films have left the strongest impact on me, so far, in 2019.
Some were block busters. Others, not. Yet each is worth viewing.
I will not ruin it for you by revealing the plot or storyline. Instead, click on the links below for a preview of each film.
The Hate U Give
I’ve lived in Atlanta, Georgia, Washington, D.C. and Charleston, South Carolina before re-locating back to the Midwest.
The storyline, actions, and consequences here are believable and relatable to me.
Even if you’ve never lived in such a culture, the message in this movie is strong. It’s a movie I will remember. “What one puts out in the world, one gets back.”
Acronym: T.H.U.G.-The Hate U Give.
What They Had
We discovered this movie on Amazon Prime.
Anyone with aging parents will relate to the familial struggles and angst in this story. It centers on memory loss and deep love. One can get distracted by the drama in the children’s lives. Focus on the parents.
I was slightly overwhelmed and equally impressed by the crowd, the music, the theatrical performances and the stage lighting that night.
Flicking of a Bic lighter to show approval was new to me.
Of course, I’d heard the music before but never seen it performed live.
Even if you’ve never had the pleasure of attending a Queen concert, this movie is worth watching.
Though you may not agree with Freddy Mercury’s lifestyle, one cannot diminish his immense talent and impact on the music industry.
The movie received the 2019 Golden Globe Best Motion Picture award.
The Wife
Women of a certain age will completely understand this movie.
I’ve been paid quite well for many years to ghost write for political and corporate leaders. I get this movie. “Keep your mouth shut while others recite your words.”
Revealing more will ruin the plot for you.
Glenn Close, the lead actress, won multiple awards for her role in the film.
Beautiful Boy
If addiction has ever been in your life or in the life of someone you love, this movie will make a lasting impression on you. It highlights repeated recovery, relapse and survival. Income and status do not shield anyone from addiction.
Steve Carell, most widely known for comedic work, does an outstanding job in this dramatic role.
One can watch this movie on Amazon Prime.
What Film’s Been Most Impactful for You?
The 1988 Comedy-Drama, “Beaches,” starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey is one I’ll always remember. Theirs was a real and loyal friendship despite class differences, betrayal and illness. It set an example for me, at an early age, on how to initiate and build life-long friendships.
We even used a featured soundtrack from this movie, “Wind Beneath My Wings” as a spotlight dance at our 1992 wedding.
WINNER: BILL L. MT. PLEASANT, SC: Win Free Movie Pass
List the 1 movie that’s made the biggest impact on your life.
Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories, along with feature articles. Her work experiences include a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.
I kept talking about practicing gratitude-being grateful. Seeing the silver lining. Slowing down. Counting my blessings. Cherishing the moment. Being content with what I have. Embracing what shows up in my life.
Then, I did.
In 2018 I committed to recording one thing I was grateful for each of the 365 days. Some days I struggled with limiting my recording to only one. Other days, I stretched to recall one. Regardless, each day received a gratitude note.
A month of gratitude slips.
It became routine: a habit. Then, a life-changer.
I dug out a book given to me a decade ago. I read and re-read it. It’s highlighted and dogeared. It’s a recipe for practicing gratitude.
Definition
Gratitude here is described as “the realization that we have everything we need, at least in this moment. It is stunningly simple. It helps us to return to our natural state of joyfulness where we notice what’s right instead of what’s wrong.”
If you’re reaching for ways to develop & keep an attitude of gratitude, read
Recommended Reading
Read on to find out how you can get a copy.
DATA COLLECTION
365 GOLDEN SLIPS
I cut 365 slips of golden paper and placed them into zip-lock bags by month. These sat in a basket next to my desk as a constant reminder not only to complete each slip daily but also to more fully recognize and appreciate events, behaviors, people, interactions, etc.
I became committed to appreciating this quote from the book: “Gratitude is like a flashlight. If you go out in your yard at night and turn on a flashlight, you suddenly can see what’s there. It was always there, but you couldn’t see it in the dark.”
What to Record
I didn’t limit myself to what could be recorded. The only rules were that just one item could be noted daily and that it could not be a recording of activity or an event and read like a journal. It had to be something unique about the day (or my approach or reaction to the day) that stood out and that I really appreciated and was grateful for.
Each day I made a recording, noted the date, folded the slip and put it in the container next to my desk.
Around March I began to realize how easy it is to forget things that happen on a daily basis that bring vast amounts of joy and enrichment to my life. Larger life events can often overshadow. For instance, 2018 brought some pretty seismic changes to our family life:
My husband, Ken, voluntarily switched careers.
Our son, Alex, married.
I doubled my client workload.
Illness and death of extended family and close friends.
Rather than focus on these major happenings, I recorded notes like, “admiration of Ken’s brain and intellect” and “cooling oceanside breeze on Alex’s wedding day.”
MONTH END REVIEW & RECALL
At the beginning of each month Ken and I would sit down and read aloud each slip from the prior month. We took turns randomly selecting slips until all were read and recalled. Some slips required explanation. Many brought delight as we remembered what was noted on the golden slip.[BONUS: Having someone to read and share a month’s worth of slips together is a real treat. But don’t let this stop you from recording on your own gratitude slips daily.]
It is both qualitative (subjective, based on observation) and quantitative (objective, numbers).
Without getting too technical, I
Read each slip
Placed similar slips into the same group
Named each group like Marriage, Friendship, Immediate Family, Wellness, Etc.
Counted the number of slips in each group
Created sub-categories for large groups
Placed each category into 1 of 3 larger categories
Charted the slips by category
FINDINGS
Marriage
The largest number of gratitude slips (49) related to our 26 year marriage or my husband’s presence in my life. A sample includes, “pride in Ken’s hard work ethic and subsequent results,” “strength, faith and integrity through adversity and change,” and “honoring traditions like Ken’s standing the first Saturday of each May as “My Old Kentucky Home” is sung at the Derby.” [He’s a Kentucky native.]
Friends
We’ve lived in eight states. Making, appreciating and retaining friends across the globe are highly valued (30). “Social skills to make friends and develop life-long friendships.” “Friendships from work settings despite employer changes.” “Invitations to outings with new friends.”
Wedding Day Breakfast, Charleston, SC, July 3, 2018
Mother/Son
Alex, 24, is our only child. Time spent with him was mentioned 24 times. It is the greatest gift he gives me. On Mother’s Day I noted, “grateful for the title of mother.” “Honest/frank conversations,” and “Drive and dedication at his job” were also noted.
Immediate Family
Our immediate family grew to four in 2018 with Alex’s marriage. Again, timespent together was mentioned most. I’m was grateful for their wedding day and marriage. We’re all grateful for their home offer being accepted and the ease of their move-in.
Extended Family
Siblings, nieces, cousins, parents and in-laws were mentioned 18 times. Highlights: “Inclusiveness and traditions of Loon Lake, MN cousins, like their pre-meal prayer, ‘We love our bread. We love our butter. But most of all we love each other.’ “Adult women who become friends” and “uninterrupted travel time with brother from NE to MN.”
Other
Forty-four (44) golden slips simply could not be forced into another category and got placed in “OTHER.” Samples include, “safety of winter roadways, “service experts like window washers, snow removers, HVAC technicians, etc.”, “Nebraska volleyball players’ grit coming back to win from two sets down,” and “beauty and majesty of fireworks displays.”
Wellness
Access to medical care with kind, caring professionals was frequently mentioned (35). I have a progressive scoliosis. Access to warm water and massage therapy were often cited. “Motivation and commitment to pool exercise for maintenance of health and mobility,” “ability to rest and recover,” and “understanding need for self-care.”
Travel
I am curious and have gypsy-like traits. Thus, I thrive on travel (13) and immersing myself in new surroundings and cultures. I am most grateful for the means to travel.
Nature
Many of my/our travels include exploration of nature and the outdoors (11). Sample notations included: “Sunrises.” “Sitting on dock listening to sounds of loons on lake” and “full moon lighting our travel on I-80.”
Loon Lake, Minnesota
Personal Traits
Personal skills or traits appeared on 29 golden slips. These skills included traits like tolerance, compassion, sense of humor, emotional strength, ability to let go, forgiveness, life long learner, celebratory, etc.
Business Skill
Business aptitude or skills were noted 19 times. Problem-solving, analytical, group facilitation and connection, persistence, creative and artistic, communication (courageous, multi-generational, etc.) and organizational and planning are samples of the greater list.
Alone Time
Alone time only appeared four times during the year. History explains that. I hail from a family of 11. I enjoy being surrounded by people and activity.
CONCLUSIONS
There is always something to be grateful for. Recognizing this and pausing to understand gratitude were teachable moments.
I was grateful prior to this 365 day exercise. Committing gratitude to paper daily did, however, amplify the many blessings in my life.
My gratitude notes mirror my personal priorities. Almost half of the notes (46%) landed in “Marriage + Family.” Over a third (36%) fell in “External” and Eighteen percent (18%) were personal.
I was surprised by the number of personal and business traits (combined 48) mentioned on the gratitude slips. Clearly, I understand that my approach to both situations and people stems from the skills I possess and use. Experience (age) does lead to wisdom and insight.
Traveling fills my soul whether domestic or off-shore. Yet, it only had 13 mentions during the year. Perhaps, I’ve taken this blessing a bit for granted.
I have solidified my belief that most people are good and have good intentions. Forgiveness seems to come easier.
An attitude of gratitude is a daily work in progress. Admittedly, while raising a family, working and maintaining a life, it’s not easy to focus on self-improvement.
If I had a do-over, I’d have done this exercise earlier in my life. It’s never too late to start.
FUTURE
Keep understanding that to experience gratitude, I have to first be aware I’ve been given something (not necessarily a material thing).
Start each day being abundantly joyful.
Consciously count my blessings on a daily basis.
Realize there are trying times and discover the gift in those moments.
Be present and aware, especially during mundane, ordinary tasks.
Focus on needs not wants.
Notice and appreciate each person’s talents.
Live simply and minimally.
Keep expectations in check.
Give thanks every day, including at meal time.
Re-read “Attitudes of Gratitude” as needed to get re-focused.
Sandra from Sioux Falls, SD won the book! Congrats!
If you’d like a free copy of “Attitudes of Gratitude,” complete the form below and list the #1 thing you are most grateful for at the moment. List 1 item only.
CLOSED: A random winner will be chosen by May 1, 2019.
Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories, along with feature articles. Her work experiences include a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. She specializes in undercover studies of communities wishing to attract visitors for economic impact. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above. Want an advertorial written on your business? Would you like to have your community promoted?
Need her to ghost write website copy, a report or speech for you? Contact her by completing this form.
