BeMine

Improve Your Love Life at Any Age

~ Linda Leier Thomason ~ Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day & Every Day

Photo by Linda Leier Thomason

Here we are again. The month of February with its predictable Valentine’s Day jitters.

Some really look forward to this day. They anticipate being showered with gifts of love from their partner. I, Denise Craft, am not one of them. I’m about as big of a fan of Valentine’s Day as I am of New Year’s resolutions; both put undue pressure on us.

What I do believe is that Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder to appreciate the closest relationships in one’s life. I make time to pause and reflect on the importance of love, attachment, affection and closeness. I respect how each of these adds value and joy to my life.

Declining Divorce Rate

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) latest data (2020), 44.6% of marriages in the USA end in divorce. Though this may seem high, the divorce rate in America is actually dropping. In fact, it’s declined 35% in the past 20 years. This is a surprisingly good sign.  FastStats – Marriage and Divorce (cdc.gov)

These declining rates should give us all hope. It means people who get married today stand a much better chance of having a successful marriage than ever before.

Successful long-term relationships take considerable nurturing and work. If you’re someone who’s partner longingly looks forward to Valentine’s Day, you may need to put more work into this special day to ensure a blissful outcome.

5 Ways to Spice up Your Love Life

Since I’m the so-called Scrooge of Valentine’s Day and believe one must work every day at keeping love alive, I did a bit of research and compiled a list of meaningful ways to improve one’s love life.

Use it to create a special Valentine’s Day and to enhance your love life, every day, regardless of your age or years together with your partner.

  • Show “I Love You” don’t just say the most popular three-word phrase in the world. Feeling love comes from small gestures showing your partner that you understand and know him/her. For instance, if your partner has spoken fondly of a favorite childhood dessert, find the recipe. Surprise him/her with not only the recipe (perhaps hand-written by a grandparent or parent) but prepare the actual dessert. It’s not a grand gesture but it’s a personal nurturing one that will be deeply appreciated. Feeling heard and understood are cherished gifts.
  • Demonstrate “I care” by taking a task off the To-Do list. This is super effective for busy parents. Empty the dishwasher. Pick up the milk from the store. Fold and put away the laundry. Sweep the floor. Make the beds. While not super sexy or high dollar value gifts, these are real signs of caring and sharing in the busyness of everyday life. Bonus: It may leave more time for you to share some romantic time with your partner. Understand it’s the small things that someone does for you daily that keeps love alive. It’s not typically the grand gestures keeping marriages intact.
  • Record your feelings. When is the last time you’ve written your partner a love letter, or verbally expressed your true emotions or feelings? Gifts like this appreciate over time. They are deeply treasured, especially after the loss of a partner. Go ahead. Write a love letter. Cuddle up and read it aloud to your partner. Bathe in the warmth of the exchange. The heartfelt words and the reading of them are priceless. No tangible gift can ever trump a hand-written love note or letter. Ever. HINT: A super easy and fun alternative to this is listing one or two reasons you love your partner. Hide or tape this list in a creative spot and let them find it. A nice, heart-warming surprise for them, and you.
  • Take a deep dive into understanding your partner. No matter how many years you’ve been together there is always something new to learn about them. A fun way to do this is using the book, “2000 Questions about Me” from Piccadilly. How would your partner answer: “What stood out in one of your most memorable dreams?” and “Do you think cheerleaders are motivating or distracting at football games?”  It’s been really fun getting to know and understand him better through these random questions. Try it. Piccadilly 2000 Questions About Me Guided Journal Cardstock 152 Pages – Walmart.com
  • Nothing is more appealing to others than remembering that you’re enough. Self-love, self-confidence and self-care make you a better person. [Note: This is not the same as being selfish or self-centered. Big difference.] And, if you are single on Valentine’s Day, know you are worthy of love, whether or not you have a partner. Your single status is not something to “fix.” You are not lacking. You are enough.

Consistency Over Flowers & Chocolates

Real love is not flowers, fancy dinners, chocolates or hearts.

It is shown by your partner’s dedication to you every day.

Real love is familiar and created with trust and respect.

It is an everyday thing. It certainly is not a one-day event hyped by retailers.

Wishing you love on Valentine’s Day & every day.

SHARE this with those you love.

©February 2022 Craft LifeStyle Management.

All Rights Reserved.

Written for Craft LifeStyle Mangement by Linda Leier Thomason

New Love after 60-It’s Possible

~ Linda Leier Thomason ~ Leave a comment

Everyone deserves LOVE.

Most folks desire a deep connection, including seniors who may still long for companionship and someone to fall in love with.

How to Find a New Love

How does one go about finding love again if (s)he hasn’t dated in decades?

Many will quickly advise using the Internet. In addition to safely using Internet dating sites, you may also like to try

  • Friends and Family Referrals-The often-dreaded blind dates.  Your friends and family know you best. Don’t automatically refuse. Try it. Take the stress off yourself by starting small. Meet for coffee or a stroll in a public park-an hour or less. You each decide afterwards if you want to spend more time together.
  • Neighborhood Socials-Don’t be a wallflower. Mix, smile and connect. Maybe you aren’t fond of groups. Ask a friend to join you but don’t hide behind him/her. Commit to talking with others. It’s quite possible you have a lot in common with your neighbors. HINT: During COVID many have been isolated. Perhaps you can start a driveway gathering where neighbors bring their own beverages and a lawn chair. Everyone social distances while being social. Connecting is always good for one’s soul, but especially during the Pandemic.
  • Church or Synagogue Activities-Join a small group and attend events.
  • Out and About at the dog park, coffee shop, museum, wine tastings, bookstore, theatre, gym, public park, etc. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. HINT: Today it’s okay for women to make the first move. Learn to flirt again. Remember, no one will come and ring your doorbell. You have to put some effort into making and keeping friends. Think about what your interests and hobbies are and then do them. Engage with your community. Read to children at the library. Volunteer in city parks. Build birdhouses for state parks. Just do something.
  • Past Connections-Social Media sites like LinkedIn and Facebook help make this so much easier today. Is there someone from your high school class who may have lost a spouse that you’d like to re-connect with? How about a former work colleague or a cousin? Find them online and start chatting. Or, pick up your telephone and call. They are likely to appreciate the reconnection as much as you do.
  • Internet Dating (Avoid the Sweetheart Scam) NCEA: Sweatheart Scam Fact Sheet (acl.gov)

Expectations

If you’re new to dating, here’s an article to read on what to expect when dating as a senior: What to Expect When Dating – Single Seniors, First Date Advice, Tips (aarp.org)

Receive Love

Remember, LOVE is not only received from another adult.

Children, grandchildren and friends are also sources of companionship, deep love and meaningful connection.

HINT: Don’t always expect your children and grandchildren to call first. Make the effort to reach out and stay connected. You are happy to hear from them when they call. It’s the same the other way around too.

Pets also make great companions if you have the ability and time to care for them. HINT: If you have a dog, it’s a great reason to go to the dog park and meet other owners.

And, remember, being in love and having companionship may result in a happier and healthier life.

Can love help you live longer? – CBS News

You are worthy of LOVE regardless of age.

LOVE Yourself. LOVE others.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the Craft LifeStyle Management Team.

©February 2021. All rights reserved.

Written by Linda Leier Thomason for Craft LifeStyle Management.


Denise Craft founded Craft Lifestyle Management in 1988 to ease the burden for families of aging, veterans, special needs adults and those in rehab during times of transition. She understands what’s involved in transitioning any individual from their personal home to their next home and to end of life. Her seasoned knowledge of available placement services, housing options, eligible benefits and payor sources, and community resources is endless. 


Please contact Craft LifeStyle Management for all of your transitional needs.