Moving

6 Lessons Learned by Living in 8 States

~ Linda Leier Thomason ~ Leave a comment
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Gypsy Woman

I’m often called a gypsy-a person who wanders or roams from place to place.

I’m okay with that, even if the term is somewhat dated.

My genes seem marked by curiosity, wonderment and adventure.

Travel and exploration are my greatest desires.

Assimilating into and understanding new environments and cultures bring me a complete sense of fulfillment.

Omaha, Nebraska is “home” today.

Home has also been

  • South Dakota
  • South Carolina
  • Georgia
  • Washington, D.C.
  • Iowa
  • Minnesota, and
  • North Dakota

Where Is Home?

I stumped when asked, “Where is home for you?”

I’m not a smart aleck but rather than list an address, I sometimes respond, “Wherever I feel welcomed and accepted and where my husband and son and his family are. Today, it’s (insert current city/state.).”

Home has never been about a house/address for me.

It’s about a feeling.

I adapt and adjust to whatever space and place I’ve landed in.

Unusual, perhaps, but comfortable and familiar for me.

Lessons Learned

Today I can look back at the eight moves I’ve made to date for education and career and easily identify lessons learned.

1. Fear is a Barrier

FEAR is the # 1 reason I hear most from those who’ve never relocated to another community.

Starting over new in an unfamiliar place leaves many with a Fear of

• Change
• Failure
• Loneliness and/or being alone
• The physical part of moving and relocating
• Unknown
• Rejection

I’m still searching for the reason I don’t own these fears.

All I can say is that success of one move makes the next and the next and the next easier.

Like anything, giving oneself permission to fail and growing one’s confidence by doing lessen these fears.

Most decisions are not lifetime sentences.

Give yourself permission to change your life, even if that means moving.

2. Adults Have Dormant Friendship Skills

On my 7th move-to Sioux Falls, SD- a woman I did volunteer work with whom I call “friend” today pointed this lesson out to me.

She admitted I was her first new friend since college.

This confession, in our shared late 40’s, stuck with me.

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Learning to Catch SD Snowflakes

She’s right. Most of us easily make friends in school and college, some at work.

But how many new friends have enriched your life since these bygone days?

What a loss, if none.

Jobs, children, caretaking, etc. seem to take over a certain part of lives, leaving little time and/or energy for new friendships.

How about this?
Find a “new” person and/or family who’s recently moved into your neighborhood, town or community. Reach out.

Including someone is often the best gift you can give, especially someone new to your area/church/workplace, etc.

Ask the “new person” to coffee, for a walk, to dinner, to connect on social media, to book club, etc.

You may find your life deeply enriched by dusting off your friendship skills and making a new friend, especially in your mid to late adult years.

And, if you’re the one who moved, keep in mind, adults aren’t like kids in the neighborhood.

They don’t randomly come ring your doorbell and ask if you want to play.
You need to take some initiative and reach out. Get involved.

Entrench yourself into the community. Meet “new” friends.

3. Zip Codes Aren’t Walls

It’s said that most people never travel farther than two zip codes away from their house.

https://nypost.com/2018/01/11/a-shocking-number-of-americans-never-leave-home/

Why? Sometimes it’s lack of funds or physical limitations. Often, it’s just lack of interest/curiosity and ambition.

I’m forever stunned hearing that residents of (insert state) have not visited popular tourist destinations or geographic or natural sites unique to that location.

I have. I’ve a real need to know about the place(s) I live.

I want to see the landscape, meet the people and eat the cuisine.

Integrating into the community/state makes me feel “at home.”

4. Good People Exist & Stereotypes Aren’t Truths

Stereotypes beware. I don’t believe you!

Yes, crime rates tend to be higher in metropolitan areas and meth is readily accessible in rural areas.

Southerners have drawls and Midwesterners sound like southern Canadians or characters from Fargo.

Here’s what’s also true. Good people exist everywhere.

From the Southern neighbors who helped remove hurricane debris from my home to the gentleman who changed my flat tire on a Midwestern interstate, these kind folks exist.

One doesn’t even need to “look for them.” They simply exist.

I believe in the goodness of people, everywhere.

5. Mother Nature Reigns

Hurricanes in the south. Tornados and blizzards in the Midwest. Earthquakes in South Carolina, yes, earthquakes.

Every region has its weather challenges.

The lesson: We are not in charge. She is.

Complaining doesn’t help. Preparedness does.

6. Less is More

It’s not the possessions but the experiences that grow oneself and enrich one’s life.

For obvious reasons, I’m not a collector.

Nor does my identity come from the structure I live under.

I used to have the rule-what doesn’t fit in my trunk, isn’t needed.

Then I married and had a child.

My approach had to become more flexible and expansive. The last move, we rented a 22-foot truck.

I still don’t collect.

I’m still not rooted.

Even if I was, possessions are material items.

I value relationship over possessions.

Your Thoughts & Questions 

How about you?

Are you a Frequent Mover?

What do you value? Is it stability or curiosity or a combination of the two?

SHARE below.

Have an urge to Move? What location piques your interest?
Have some questions?
Ask here.

©March 2020. Linda Leier Thomason All Rights Reserved. This means seek permission before using copy or images from this site. Images are available for purchase.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

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The Fine Art of Moving

~ Linda Leier Thomason ~ 5 Comments

Ken & I at Vermillion, SD truck stop on May 2015 moving day
Ken & I at Vermillion, SD truck stop on May 2015 moving day

Decades ago while dating I recall being told the best way to determine long-term compatibility is to take a trip together. Ken and I traveled often and are celebrating 23 years of marriage in June 2015. I’d say that was timeless, sage advice.

Now I feel it’s my turn to offer some words of wisdom. If one wants to find out what character his/her partner is made of…MOVE. Move often. Who each is prior to sorting, selling, boxing, loading, driving and then unloading and unboxing remains through the entire process. I know this. We’ve moved seven times during our married life and each time the roles we play remain the same…in other words…we do not change much, despite our changing surroundings.

I am the planner, producer, facilitator and director. You get it…the boss…the leader. Ken, my husband, to use a good ole’ Southern phrase, “God bless his soul,” abides by my directives and does the heavy lifting and stacking. He hires the truck and labor. Apparently, time has taught him not to question or second guess my prep work and research. Alex, our son, the college dude, seeks to refine my directives with the precision of a logistics engineer, completely finding unnecessary my need for sentiment and time to pause and recall memories associated with items he considers ‘things.’

Sentimental item kept-my baby shoes.
Sentimental item kept-my baby shoes.

His goal is to get to the location and unpack, touching each item once while packing, once while loading and once while unloading. He fusses and hurries me along as I share legends of items stored away in cedar chests and cardboard boxes. I wonder if he thoughtfully considers his response when I ask, “Will you use or appreciate this one day?”

There is a fine art to moving. I equate it to a great symphony piece. First, I gather items by theme-kitchen cookware, flatware, linens, decorative items, etc. and sort. It sounds so cerebral, but in reality, it never gets easier, though with each move we downsize. What goes to a consignment shop? What will I attempt to sell? What is donated? What do I want to pass on to Alex? What can’t I part with just yet?

Fine art of moving-starts out messy.
Fine art of moving-starts out messy.

Actions ensue. I box and cart items to each destination. Ahhh. The house feels lighter. I feel good. I gather empty boxes we’ve saved from previous moves and do my best to pack alike items in a logical fashion. I bubble wrap breakables and touch each saved item with care, recalling how it came into our lives. I like doing this in solitude without the rush of deadlines and the push toward the end goal–boxing and moving on. I’m goal oriented, but not without nostalgia.

I call charitable organizations and schedule pick up times. During the recent move, we donated to the Furniture Mission in Sioux Falls, SD. They were gracious and expedient in their pick up. I watched them load items once considered valuable possessions but knew would not last through yet another move. I felt a loss of the material goods but joy at helping another family furnish a house. After they clear the garage, the items that escaped another cut and were boxed are moved to the garage awaiting the moving truck and the loaders. If these items had feelings, they’d be celebrating. They made the cut! They are prized and belong to the family.

Made the cut-boxed and in the garage awaiting truck.
Made the cut-boxed and in the garage awaiting truck.

I hesitantly sell items through the Internet, but never unless Alex or Ken is there with me when a potential buyer arrives. I’m 100 percent in my sales. Perhaps I missed my calling. I sell at list price and often the buyer leaves with more items than he came to get. Am I that good, or does the sentiment attached to the items I’m hawking come through so loudly that the buyer is purchasing that intangible as well? Either way. Ca..ching. Another item gone. One less thing to load on the moving truck.

All these actions happen virtually at the same time-list, respond to inquiries, arrange visits to see the items, greet potential buyers, sell, pull more items out of cupboards and cabinets, decide what goes and what stays, bubble wrap, touch each item, recall its’ origin, cart off to a donation site, wait on charitable organizations to arrive, box, move boxes to garage, on and on and on. If done well, the symphony of moving results in a feeling of relief, joy and peacefulness. If not, it’s utter chaos with shrieking and leaving in protest.

We’ve moved seven times. We each understand our role in the process and play our part. It requires practice but our individual character remains. As with musicians, each of us has learned a specialization in the process and sticks to it to make the overall piece and process flow smoothly and flawlessly.

We sorted. We donated. We sold. We packed. We loaded. We moved. We arrived safely. We can each say we enjoyed the fine art of moving in May 2015. We remember moving is like a symphony-each has a specific role to play for it to be a memorable production.

Sonata!

Jubilant moving producer arrives at destination.
Jubilant moving producer arrives at destination.

Copyright. June 2015. Linda Leier Thomason