Waiting For the Other Shoe To Drop

Omaha June 2015 House Hunting 047Less than 12 hours after watching my hard-working husband Ken sign a purchase agreement on a house in our new home city-Omaha, Nebraska-it dawned on me that my family has been living a life of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” We need to change that. Rather than battle life, the Thomason trio needs to begin enjoying life, starting today.

It’s true. Since moving to the Midwest in 2009, we’ve had our share of challenges on many fronts: employment, health, housing and family. Yet, through it all, we’ve endured and remained intact as a family unit. As a parent, what matters most to me is that Alex, our 20-year-old son, sees us navigate these hurdles with willpower and grace. Knowing one can overcome challenges instills confidence and fearlessness; both attributes will guide him through his own life journey.

Last night while waiting for our outstanding real estate agent to arrive with the paperwork, the three of us walked around the house, checked out the landscaping and discussed immediate home improvements.  Omaha June 2015 House Hunting 009Then Megan arrived with pep in her step and asks, “Are you all excited?” No one responded. I jumped in and explained we are not an excitable trio; we’re pretty flatlined folks. It’s not that we don’t experience pleasure or delight, rather it’s that we are not demonstrative about it. Yet, during the remainder of our time there, I did wonder about the lack of excitement. Had the challenges worn us completely down and stripped all the joy from us individually, and as a unit? I hope not!

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Alex checking out view from back porch.

It’s my mission to pitch the idea of new beginnings to the number crunching men in my trio. To instill the need to celebrate and to feel and experience joy while bidding farewell to “waiting for the other shoe to drop” approach to each day.

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Megan’s upright shoes at new house.

It starts tonight.

We’re heading to the final game of the College World Series-a battle on the playing field, not in our lives.

It’s a new beginning and we’re celebrating!

And, gosh darn it, we’re going to be joyous about it.

Copyright. June 2015. Linda Leier Thomason.

The Fine Art of Moving

Ken & I at Vermillion, SD truck stop on May 2015 moving day
Ken & I at Vermillion, SD truck stop on May 2015 moving day

Decades ago while dating I recall being told the best way to determine long-term compatibility is to take a trip together. Ken and I traveled often and are celebrating 23 years of marriage in June 2015. I’d say that was timeless, sage advice.

Now I feel it’s my turn to offer some words of wisdom. If one wants to find out what character his/her partner is made of…MOVE. Move often. Who each is prior to sorting, selling, boxing, loading, driving and then unloading and unboxing remains through the entire process. I know this. We’ve moved seven times during our married life and each time the roles we play remain the same…in other words…we do not change much, despite our changing surroundings.

I am the planner, producer, facilitator and director. You get it…the boss…the leader. Ken, my husband, to use a good ole’ Southern phrase, “God bless his soul,” abides by my directives and does the heavy lifting and stacking. He hires the truck and labor. Apparently, time has taught him not to question or second guess my prep work and research. Alex, our son, the college dude, seeks to refine my directives with the precision of a logistics engineer, completely finding unnecessary my need for sentiment and time to pause and recall memories associated with items he considers ‘things.’

Sentimental item kept-my baby shoes.
Sentimental item kept-my baby shoes.

His goal is to get to the location and unpack, touching each item once while packing, once while loading and once while unloading. He fusses and hurries me along as I share legends of items stored away in cedar chests and cardboard boxes. I wonder if he thoughtfully considers his response when I ask, “Will you use or appreciate this one day?”

There is a fine art to moving. I equate it to a great symphony piece. First, I gather items by theme-kitchen cookware, flatware, linens, decorative items, etc. and sort. It sounds so cerebral, but in reality, it never gets easier, though with each move we downsize. What goes to a consignment shop? What will I attempt to sell? What is donated? What do I want to pass on to Alex? What can’t I part with just yet?

Fine art of moving-starts out messy.
Fine art of moving-starts out messy.

Actions ensue. I box and cart items to each destination. Ahhh. The house feels lighter. I feel good. I gather empty boxes we’ve saved from previous moves and do my best to pack alike items in a logical fashion. I bubble wrap breakables and touch each saved item with care, recalling how it came into our lives. I like doing this in solitude without the rush of deadlines and the push toward the end goal–boxing and moving on. I’m goal oriented, but not without nostalgia.

I call charitable organizations and schedule pick up times. During the recent move, we donated to the Furniture Mission in Sioux Falls, SD. They were gracious and expedient in their pick up. I watched them load items once considered valuable possessions but knew would not last through yet another move. I felt a loss of the material goods but joy at helping another family furnish a house. After they clear the garage, the items that escaped another cut and were boxed are moved to the garage awaiting the moving truck and the loaders. If these items had feelings, they’d be celebrating. They made the cut! They are prized and belong to the family.

Made the cut-boxed and in the garage awaiting truck.
Made the cut-boxed and in the garage awaiting truck.

I hesitantly sell items through the Internet, but never unless Alex or Ken is there with me when a potential buyer arrives. I’m 100 percent in my sales. Perhaps I missed my calling. I sell at list price and often the buyer leaves with more items than he came to get. Am I that good, or does the sentiment attached to the items I’m hawking come through so loudly that the buyer is purchasing that intangible as well? Either way. Ca..ching. Another item gone. One less thing to load on the moving truck.

All these actions happen virtually at the same time-list, respond to inquiries, arrange visits to see the items, greet potential buyers, sell, pull more items out of cupboards and cabinets, decide what goes and what stays, bubble wrap, touch each item, recall its’ origin, cart off to a donation site, wait on charitable organizations to arrive, box, move boxes to garage, on and on and on. If done well, the symphony of moving results in a feeling of relief, joy and peacefulness. If not, it’s utter chaos with shrieking and leaving in protest.

We’ve moved seven times. We each understand our role in the process and play our part. It requires practice but our individual character remains. As with musicians, each of us has learned a specialization in the process and sticks to it to make the overall piece and process flow smoothly and flawlessly.

We sorted. We donated. We sold. We packed. We loaded. We moved. We arrived safely. We can each say we enjoyed the fine art of moving in May 2015. We remember moving is like a symphony-each has a specific role to play for it to be a memorable production.

Sonata!

Jubilant moving producer arrives at destination.
Jubilant moving producer arrives at destination.

Copyright. June 2015. Linda Leier Thomason