For over three decades Craft LifeStyle Management has supported families through death and dying. We offer comfort care for those transitioning from this earth to death and assist in healthy family reorganization after the death.
This is always an intensely emotional time. We urge patience, forgiveness and compassion along with open communication and acceptance during this time, and always.
Remember to also give yourself grace. You are not required to argue or feel bad for the decisions you have made for your loved one. In our experience, more times than not, the family member being the ‘worst’ has done the least.
If you are going through this process with a loved one and your family, know we care about you.
The way one learns about death and dying, or experiences it, affects how one reacts to it. Teaching or talking about these often-taboo subjects is helpful at any age. NOTE: Letting your loved ones know the way you’d like to experience the dying process is a gift. Share your wants and wishes aloud, or at a minimum in writing.
No two family members approach the dying process, death or grief in the same manner. Some will embrace what is happening. Others simply cannot accept it. HINT: Sometimes it seems impossible to connect with and support one another because a family member’s behavior seems unrecognizable at the moment. Give one another space and allow emotions to settle. Avoid being verbally insulted or belittled because someone is not able to handle their own emotions at the moment. Typically, over time, all eventually return to their ‘normal’ selves.
Family members who live out of the area often feel tremendous guilt about not being there to help. Others who live in the same community as the deceased may continue to allow their grudges and hurt to interfere with compassion and empathy. They may avoid the dying person altogether.
It’s not unusual for the primary caretaker to resent other family members for “not carrying their weight” during this time.
Support for one another is far superior to allowing tensions to drive you and your family apart during this difficult time. NOTE: It’s likely the wedges were present many years prior to a death in the family. This process only brought them to the forefront again.
Stress of caretaking and grief impacts one’s immune system. HINT: It’s so important to take care of oneself while caring for others and grieving a loss.
Death sometimes does bring out the worst in families. Sadly, some families fight over funeral arrangements, material possessions and money during the dying process and/or after a death, causing compounded grief and permanent separation. HINT: Keep in mind grief can cause reasonable people to sometimes act unreasonable, especially if they have guilt or unresolved issues with their dying family member. Practice a bit of patience and a lot of forgiveness. Consider that the best option may be to excuse yourself and walk away. Understand there may be too many emotions at the moment to sort through. Peace and calm always win.
A child often steps in and takes the role of the deceased parent. Or, the siblings place the role of the deceased one on one of their siblings causing more stress and burden. Sometimes this is welcomed; other times it causes resentment in either situation. Be aware of this and do your best as a family to cope.
Religious values and death rituals like graveside services or Christian Mass or service offer comfort and normalcy to grieving families. Schedule these, even if it seems nearly impossible to go through them. NOTE: Services and funerals are for the living. Pre-planning these takes so much stress and yes, fighting, off of loved ones. If this was not done, gather as a family. Allow each person to state what they think the deceased wanted. Letting each completely share their thoughts will bring some resolution between each sibling and all of the shared options. There will be some overlap that will help immensely in creating this sorrowful final plan.
There is absolutely NO timeline associated with grief. NOTE: This is so important to understand. One may immediately fall apart. Another may be stone cold. No one knows how they will react until they are in the situation. It is also true that you may react quite differently with each loved one who passes. Again, give yourself grace to handle your own journey and extend that grace to others as well.
As an Iowa State University student, I frequently sped by Fort Dodge, Iowa on US 169 North, never stopping. Fellow students from Fort Dodge consistently boasted “it’s a great place to live and work.”
To say I was amazed by what the community offers is an understatement.
I’ve lived in major metropolitan areas like Atlanta, Georgia, Washington, D.C. and Omaha, Nebraska. I was totally entrenched in my 20+ year hometown of Charleston, SC, and others. But this place, Fort Dodge, Iowa, has been perhaps the biggest surprise yet.
For its size this community is richly diverse in what it offers its citizens, everything from top-notch parks to plentiful dining and shopping to a diverse cultural experiences, including public art. ENTER to WIN an OVERNIGHT trip. Complete form below.
Location + Distance
Des Moines: 1 hour + 24 minutes
Kansas City: 4 hours
Minneapolis: 3 hours
Omaha: 2 hours + 45 minutes
Sioux City, IA: 2 hours
Sioux Falls, SD: 3 hours
Fun Facts
The town was founded in 1869 and is informally known as the “Frontier of the Future.”
Fort Dodge traces its beginnings to 1850 when soldiers from the United States Army erected a fort at the junction of the Des Moines River and Lizard Creek. It was named after Henry Dodge, a governor of Wisconsin Territory (which had included Iowa until Iowa became a state in 1846). The fort was abandoned by the Army in 1853.
The Des Moines River flows through Fort Dodge.
Population is just over 25,000.
Fort Dodge is the commercial center for North Central and Northwest Iowa.
The major industries include biofuels, livestock feed, gypsum and limestone mining, can production, drywall manufacturing, trucking, the manufacture of veterinary pharmaceuticals and vaccines, and retail.
Drywall was patented by a Fort Dodge resident.
Gypsum rock is processed into drywall and plaster products at several Fort Dodge manufacturing facilities.
The Blanden Memorial Art Museum, the first public museum of art in the state of Iowa, is located in the historic Oak Hill district of Fort Dodge. It opened June 5, 1932 and is renowned as one of the finest small museums in the nation for its extensive permanent collection as well as popular touring exhibits. The permanent collection on display includes European and American artists prints, sculptures and paintings.
The 400-acre John F. Kennedy Memorial Park (1415 Nelson Avenue) and Veterans Memorial Park surround Badger Lake and are linked by an outstanding trail system. The playground will delight kids of all ages.
Each person may enter 1x only throughout the contest. If your household uses the same email, it can be used for multiple entries.
Trip must be completed by October 31, 2021.
Entrants must be age 25 or older. USA Citizens only.
Winner is not required to use kayaking portion of this giveaway but, if not used, cannot gift to another party.
Winner is responsible for making reservation through the hotel and agrees to all conditions of the property.
Transportation to & from Fort Dodge, Iowa is not provided.
Winner agrees to forward three (3) photographs taken during the trip and five (5) sentences about their experience to www.lindaleierthomason within seven (7) days of completing their trip. Images may be used on social media outlets and on this website.
Winner Notification: Winner will be chosen at random on Friday, July 9, 2021. Winner will be notified via email. Response must be received in 24 hours. If none, another winner will be randomly chosen.
Prize is non-transferable. No cash redemption or substitution will be allowed.
Winner assumes all responsibility and releases lindaleierthomason.com and all prize donors and sponsors from all liability.
By accepting prize, winner understands and agrees to all contest rules.
Immediate family members (spouse/partner, children, grandchildren and parents) of prize sponsors, Fort Dodge, Chamber of Commerce and/or www.lindaleierthomason.com are not eligible to enter.
This contest is done in cooperation with the Fort Dodge, Iowa Convention and Visitors BureauHomepage – Fort Dodge (fortdodgecvb.com) and we thank them and all contest sponsors for their generosity and desire to introduce their community to us.
Contest Now Closed.
Kate and her children canoeing Brushy Creek Recreation Area on their trip to Fort Dodge, Iowa.
“Although we didn’t make it very far, we created memories that will last for a lifetime!” 😉
“The kids had a really great time at Fort Frenzy! Dariette’s ice cream was a win in our book and the dinner at Bufords was great. My sons enjoyed the apple turnovers at Community Orchard and we all loved the apple muffins.”
The trip was a good escape for this busy family and much appreciated by all!
Linda Leier Thomason is a former CEO who writes freelance business and travel stories, along with feature articles. Her work experiences include a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business.
You will most often find her outdoors enjoying natural settings, wherever she’s at.
Find out more about Linda by clicking the “Meet Linda” tab above. Interested in working together? Send me a note today. Let’s connect.
Who’d voluntarily climb to the top of the world’s largest mountain-carving-in-progress, Crazy Horse Memorial, in the southern Black Hills of South Dakota 21 times?
They would!
Photo Credit: Rachel Knight
Meet Marty and Ray.
These retired 70+ year old Sioux Falls, South Dakota residents always permanently mark the first weekend in June on their calendar.
Making this 36th Annual Spring 10K Volksmarch (an organized hike) extra special for them was their whole family, including their two granddaughters, joining in for the 6.2-mile round trip woodland ramble.
“For two decades this event has been the hallmark for the beginning of our summer activities,” said Marty. “The weather is always an unknown in the Hills, but we revel in enjoying spring for a second time…smelling lilacs and crabapple trees in their prime.”
Unpredictable Weather
2021’s record heat made the hike on the dirt trails and gravel work roads a bit more rigorous. Organizers were prepared with four check stations on the pathway along with fund raising refreshments and port-a-potties. Roving trail monitors and medical professionals for those needing assistance were also available.
Marty nearly had to call it quits with the onset of heat stroke symptoms. The family paused while she rested in paltry shade and consumed plenty of liquids, allowing her to continue onward and reach the turn-around point: the arm of Crazy Horse directly in front of the nine-story-high face, which was completed June 3, 1998.
2021 Changes
According to Marty this year there were a few unexpected changes with a $20 fee to get on the grounds. “In the past they asked participants to bring canned goods and the fee was waived.” The hiking fee is $3 per participant or $20 for the hike and a medal. Plan your hike. https://crazyhorsememorial.org/visit/special-events/volksmarch
“There is such natural beauty along the way. We enjoy visiting with guests from across the USA. And the view from the top is truly spellbinding.”
NOTE: The hike averages two to four hours to complete. Hikers are encouraged to pace themselves due to the terrain and peak elevation (nearly 6,500 feet above sea level.) The trail rises about 500 feet up to the mountain on hilly, rough terrain with some steep inclines. Infant strollers and pets are not allowed.
In addition, this year’s hikers had the opportunity to visit with the 17 workers carving the monument.
Marty added, “The monument is a true testament to the creativity of man and aptly represents the dignity of Native Americans.”
“I don’t know if our granddaughters will ever accompany us on the climb again. I do know they felt a sense of accomplishment for completing the six-mile event. They also experienced a new appreciation for the history and beauty of the Black Hills.”
Plan your visit and meet this retired teacher and health scientist on the trail in June 2022-God willing, their 22nd Volksmarch.
The Family photo taken by Crazy Horse Memorial Representative
Linda Leier Thomason is a former CEO who writes freelance business and travel stories, along with feature articles. Her work experiences include a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Find out more about Linda by clicking the “Meet Linda” tab above. Interested in working together? Complete this form below.
If you’d like to have Linda write about your community or event, contact herbelow.
I’m in awe of buildings. Their size. Their function. Their design. Their history.
The architectural design and messages conveyed leave a lasting impression. Looking back on photographs, I easily recall the location and the feeling I had near it.
Buildings communicate the way people live, work and move in an area. They represent both history and progress.
I marvel at the gifted, creative minds and hard-working tradespeople who design and build such pieces.
I’ve been told I’m a “cheap date.”
Drop me in a location and I’m impressed with buildings.
Trees impact me equally.
I’m okay with this. Perhaps, it’s my petite size. Or, insatiable curiosity.
Here are some of the most impressive buildings I’ve seen and visited. Some are not the most well-known buildings in their communities. They are, however, the ones that instantly grabbed my attention and captured my interest.
Links by building and location sorted by state/region/country are provided under each image.
Click on them. Plan a visit.
All photography is mine.
What’s Your Favorite Building?
What message does it send you?
Let me know below.
Suggest a new building for me to explore. Be sure to send a photo and link along. Thank you.
Linda Leier Thomason is a former CEO who writes freelance business and travel stories, along with feature articles. Her work experiences include a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business.
You will most often find her outdoors enjoying natural settings, wherever she’s at.
Find out more about Linda by clicking the “Meet Linda” tab above. Interested in working together? Send me a note today. Let’s connect.
Mother’s Day elevates the importance of this role and can be especially painful for anyone experiencing the death or absence of a mother in their life.
While cards are bought, flowers delivered and gifts given, there are those who grieve for something they do not feel or experience, or maybe never had-a bond with their mother.
Unrelatable
Those in loving close relationships with their mothers, especially within the same family, find it difficult to understand that the opposite can be true.
In fact, they may alienate, or be mad at, a sibling estranged from their mother. They cannot comprehend the hurt, secrecy and shame of being on the outside of the family unit and that collective bond. They may also feel the favoritism but not know how to change it. They can’t. No one can.
There is no grasp on the deep scars and hurt from being rejected by their shared mother.
It simply doesn’t mirror their own personal experience. Nor, does it fit the universal mother myth–that all mothers love their children.
Focus
Researchers have long studied parental absence, neglect and abandonment on the family dynamic. Considerable research also exists on what happens to a family structure when a mother dies, at any age.
For those whose mothers have died, solace may be found in reading Hope Edelman’s book of comfort, help and understanding when a mother dies- “Motherless Daughters.” Motherless Daughters | Hope Edelman
This piece focuses only on mother’s who are emotionally absent from their daughters’ lives, subsequent effects of that and ways to heal from the rejection.
It does not cover neglectful mothers who, themselves, were raised by loving, supportive mothers. This subject will be covered in a future post.
What is an Emotionally Absent Mother?
Definitions
Emotional Intelligence: Ability to use our feelings to inform our thoughts.
Emotionally Absent Mothers: Unaware and insensitive to emotional experience of their children.
Who is She?
Emotionally absent mothers are too busy, stressed out or self-absorbed to see who a daughter really is. This sort of mother doesn’t even realize being emotionally present is a critical role she should play.
Instead, she treats all of her children the same, never seeing each for their unique interests and characteristics.
She provides for the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter but emotional needs such as acceptance, validation and unconditional love aren’t given.
Feelings are never acknowledged or spoken about. And, if the daughter dares express an emotion or feeling, she may hear harsh responses from her mother like, “Get over yourself.” Or, “So and so has it much more difficult than you do,” and “Stop being so weak, needy and sensitive.”
In managing her daily family life, an emotionally absent mother may have neglected, or been absent from the lives of, her child(ren) whom she saw as stronger. She may not have even realized they still needed her to listen to and understand them.
At the time, it’s sort of a compliment to the “strong” child but it has lifelong emotional consequences.
In her book Running on Empty, Dr. Jonice Webb offers help in identifying feelings and suggests healthy ways for expressing emotions to those who were never taught this as children. Running On Empty By Dr. Jonice Webb | Dr. Jonice Webb
She shares that daughters of emotionally absent mothers often believe, and act, like their feelings don’t matter; therefore, “I don’t matter.” These daughters learn, at an early age, to bottle up, or stuff, their feelings and have no tools or experience to tap into them as an adult.
Dr. Webb writes, “When your emotions are blocked off, your body feels it. Something vital is missing. You sense this deeply, and it does not feel good. You are emotionally numb.”
Consequences
When feelings are discounted, we get discounted.
Many learn it’s not safe to share their inner world, so they numb themselves with alcohol, food, drugs and work to distract themselves from unwanted emotions. They put on a suit of emotionless armor every day so they are protected from hurt and rejection.
Daughters of emotionally absent mothers find it extremely challenging to build healthy adult relationships, especially with other females. There is a lack of trust and fear of abandonment. They become armored, wary and defensive. They feel too ashamed to share why they act and react like they do.
Not feeling seen, accepted and loved unconditionally results in daughters feeling unsure of themselves and doubting if they deserve to be valued for who they are.
There is consistent self-worth doubt and anxiety around internal issues. “Am I lovable?”
A longing to feel loved, which was denied as a child, often results in looking to form intense bonds quickly, which can scare off intimate partners who do not understand the origin of this needy behavior.
Many daughters feel like orphans. They fear abandonment and lack trust in others. She can’t reach out to the mother or her siblings for comfort and support. This may result in acceptance of loneliness and complete self-reliance in one’s life.
The emotional pain of rejection from either parent, or both, has considerable long-lasting effects on a child’s personality. Unlike physical pain, this pain is relived repeatedly for years.
It may show up in the child at any age with low self-esteem and high self-doubt feeling:
Anxiety
Insecurity
Numbness
Closed Off
Emptiness
Loneliness
Unlovable
Invisible
Misunderstood
Hostility
10 Ways to Begin Healing from an Emotionally Absent Mother
Motherless daughters feel persistent grief for many years, some forever. But this loss peaks when the daughter experiences milestones in her own life where she’d benefit from mothering herself. Moments like child delivery, child rearing, health crises and marital challenges.
There are ways to heal from a mother’s emotional neglect through knowledge, understanding and action.
These include:
Her
Find a substitute mother role model. There are many excellent examples of emotionally available mothers, perhaps within one’s own extended family. Seek someone who is emotionally responsive, nurturing, unselfish and emotionally open. Make sure you can go to her with any emotion, not just the happy ones.
Practice acceptance and forgiveness. Understand your mother’s limitations. She may not have had the tools and experience to mother you based on her own history. Accepting this paucity will give you peace as you seek counsel and comfort from someone else. Avoid turning back to her for emotional support, which she is likely incapable of giving you. Find peace by letting go of the need for your mother’s validation. Stop waiting for her to admit she failed you and caused you suffering. Move forward.
Set realistic expectations. Quit waiting for your emotionally absent mother to take an interest in you and your life, or even to love you. People are consistent. She will act as a grandparent as she did as a parent. Don’t be disappointed when she has no curiosity about your children, her grandchildren, either. Don’t speak bad about her in front of your children. Instead, be fully present and show that change is possible without trying to change others.
Accept that your mother will favor, and be more comfortable with, your siblings who didn’t, and don’t, require her to be emotionally present. Be aware and okay with the fact that she may not want to spend time alone with you. She most likely knows that she lacks the ability to give you the intimacy you so desire and is very uncomfortable, perhaps even making herself sick, when you’re present.
Distance yourself from your mother and put limitations on your interactions by finding a way that honors you. For instance, a 30-minute call one time a month or visiting her only when others are present. Accept that your strong wish to have a close mother-daughter relationship will never happen. Be at peace and focus on your own career, family and life.
You
Approve of yourself. Make yourself a priority. Believe you are worthy of the effort to get to know yourself. Be okay with self-care. Give yourself permission to feel. Don’t deny your own feelings or be afraid to express them as you were taught as a child. Advocate for yourself as you would for your child. Get plenty of rest, exercise and eat healthy. Journal. Quiet your mind. Read. Meditate. Be present with yourself. Do your best. Forgive yourself.
Establish reciprocal friendships that are fun but yet deep and meaningful and where your feelings are heard, understood and valued. Learn to identify and express your needs and wants. Be patient. Accept that you are still in the process of learning what you want, more less asking for it.
Focus on your own family (or family of friends). If you have children, start a new pattern by being a safe place for your children’s emotions. Help them name the feeling and seek ways to deal with them. Listen. Be comfortable even with their uncomfortable feelings like anger, frustration, fear and sadness. Try to stay present and focus on the many blessings in your life, including your children, not the love and attention you missed from your mother.
Seek therapy with a professional trained in estrangement and abandonment. Or, talk to yourself by writing out your experiences and feelings to get clarification and contentment. Finding another woman with a similar experience to share your thoughts and feelings with is also helpful.
Work on building your confidence and self-esteem by setting goals, working hard to achieve them, and celebrating when you do. Your self-confidence will grow when you “impress yourself.” Become an authority on your own life.
As great spiritual teacher and life coach Iyanla Vanzant Home – Iyanla Vanzant | New York Times Best-Selling Author says, “You don’t get to tell people how to love you or how to love. You get to choose whether or not to participate in the way they are loving you.”
Finally, recognize that this journey of understanding and acceptance of an emotionally absent mother is not easy nor straight-lined. Be patient and kind to yourself, knowing you have value, are loved and deserving of inner peace.
Denise’s Insight
This subject matter is quite difficult because it is rarely spoken of and there are so many layers to it. It’s sort of taboo. Yet, it exists.
I’m not writing about it to be controversial. Rather, since it’s near Mother’s Day and we always have clients struggling with this issue, I wanted to share our perspective and experience with this touchy, very complicated, subject.
As you read the post, maybe you even thought to yourself, “Oh, my goodness! This is how I grew up.” Perhaps you even thought this was ‘normal.’
It isn’t. And, it becomes very challenging when an emotionally absent mother has declining health and the daughter feels obligated to care for her.
This is where Craft LifeStyle Management steps in with our 3+ decades of experience to assist in ensuring your mother receives the care she needs while protecting your soul as well. If you’re in need of help, contact us. Contact – Craft Lifestyle Management (craftlifestylemgt.com)
My precious daughter and grandbabies.
On a personal note, when I grow up, I want to be just like my daughter, Summer, who has two children of her own.
I recently asked her if she learned to be such a great mother by watching me and learning what not to do. She responded with, “NO!”
Thank you for that, sweet Summer! Happy Mother’s Day to you!
It’s not a secret I personally grew up with an emotionally absent mother. We lost her to Alzheimer’s, starting 10 years prior to her death April 2020. The last six years she was here on earth but her mind was not. It truly was a blessing when she passed.
I understand this subject matter. I am here to support you!
We have found in our 30+ years in the industry that prayer, faith and spirituality are important to most of our clients. Overwhelmingly, we know a kind, caring soul is exactly this, in any faith setting.
Craft LifeStyle Management has worked with clients from almost every religion/faith. We love learning and following every detail to ensure our clients can comfortably and peacefully continue practicing their faith/spirituality in whatever setting they are in.
We are a judgement-free company. We each have our own individual faith backgrounds and are happy to hear about, and accommodate, yours.
Your faith background never enters our decision to work with you.
Here is what we’ve learned and observed through time.
Definition
The term “Religion” used here is derived from the Latin religare, meaning to “tie or bind.” In other words, religious communities (Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, Jewish, Buddhist, etc.), are tied or bound by shared beliefs.
Religion as a Habit
Does growing older make one more religious?
Scholars debate this. Some argue that as one thinks about his own mortality and does a major life review, he is drawn toward religion or spirituality.
Others say that if someone practices a certain religion throughout his life, this practice continues as he ages. Maybe his faith even grows deeper with maturity since aging influences our interactions with life.
At Craft LifeStyle Management, we have found clients who’ve changed their faith over their life find peace in referring back to the different religions and examining the similarities.
Following the practices of one’s church seems to be a life-long habit for many of our clients. In other words, they practiced what they were taught in their childhood homes throughout their lives.
This doesn’t mean; however, if you weren’t a churchgoer or religious before identifying as a senior citizen that you can’t explore it now. You certainly can. It’s never too late to learn something new.
Most faith communities would likely welcome you regardless of where you are in your faith journey.
Religion Benefits
There are many benefits to being part of a faith-based community. These include:
Social Support. A church community is a tremendous source of social support for many senior citizens. They not only attend weekly services but also participate greatly in other church sponsored organized events like Bible studies and day trips or tours. And, retirees often fill a majority of volunteer duties within their churches. Interacting with peers while volunteering for a good cause is a Win! Win! It’s proven to cut down on loneliness and depression.
Purpose. Joining and actively participating in a church provides a much-needed sense of meaning or purpose in one’s life. By this time most retirees have completed their professional quests, and, if they had children, are empty-nesters. Rather than sit at home and brood about a life gone by, joining and participating in a faith-based community provides PURPOSE-a reason to get up each morning.
Mental Health. Regardless of denomination, faith and religion provide a positive and hopeful approach to life. This attitude is especially important when facing illness and coping with the loss of a spouse or close friends.
Peace. Faith-specific guidance, care and practices are extremely important to devoutly religious people, especially when they are battling a terminal illness or nearing death. This faith-specific attention by a religious person offers comfort and peace in a time of great need.
10 Ways Faith-Based Communities Can Help Senior Citizens
Here are some tips and suggestions for places of worship to consider to make regular church attendance safer and easier for senior citizens.
1. Provide transportation to the community for worship and fellowship.
2. Ensure accessibility for canes, wheelchairs and walkers, including in the restrooms.
3. Provide a sound system that is easily heard regardless of seating location.
4. Make anything that must be read large enough to be read. For instance, hymn numbers.
5. Provide large print bulletins and Order of Worship publications
6. Have amplified hearing devices available.
7. Reserve seating for those with limited mobility and diminished hearing.
8. Easily identify restroom locations.
9. Establish a ministry for shut-ins: Scheduled visits, telephone calls, mailings, prayer cards, etc. [Churches must be vigilant and thorough in screening any parishioner going into another’s home.]
10. Live video stream worship services and connect small church groups using the Internet. Offer technical support during the early stages.
Denise’s Insight
It’s really important that our team understands what our client’s value and what may be missing from their lives.
Here’s one client story about faith and re-building relationships.
Our client had not talked to his three children since his wife died over a decade ago.
Each of the children had changed or modified their religion, causing much aggravation for their father. He had failing health when we were hired.
He spoke about his three kids all the time, but with anger and hurt about their leaving the church and its beliefs. He truly loved and missed them but couldn’t get over their decisions about religion.
It was so sorrowful that religion kept the kids away. It always turned into a fight. Once their mother passed, they were done!
Craft LifeStyle Management has worked with this client now for three years.
We are delighted that he is now interacting with two of his three children and his grandchildren.
Our goal was not to bring anyone back to another’s beliefs. Instead, our goal was for him to have somewhat of a relationship to heal each of their hearts. Each, in their own way, is such a kind and loving soul!
It has been as simple as finding conversations that keep the peace, or determining what topic is ‘off the table.’
They do not see one another every week-more like once a month-for a few hours at a time.
It is going great.
Granted, our client will say, “They don’t stay long enough,” or “Only one of my grandkids came this time.”
But he ALWAYS has a smile on his face and talks about what they did.
We offer suggestions based on years of experience and understanding our client and his family dynamics.
One of his kids can’t stay in the house. “It’s Dad’s turf.” Or, it angers him. So, we suggested he pick up Dad for a picnic lunch at one of the adult grandchildren’s homes. This is now their “go to” method.
It may only be for an hour or so, but considering it’s been 10 years, this has brought peace and calm to the family, and to our client.
2021 has gone by so quickly. The first quarter of the year is nearly over already.
So much attention is given to New Year’s Resolutions. A time of optimism and hope. A time to restart-to begin anew.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Personally, I’m not very good with following through on those resolutions. And, I hear I’m not alone. (Wink. Wink.)
I began 2020 calling it my year of “vision and clarity”. Well, it turned out it was more a year of seeing and watching how all of us would cope with and get through the unexpected COVID Pandemic.
We coped. We are strong souls.
For my Spring 2021 I’m calling it my “Plus One” – I still have the Vision and clarity but One Extra Bonus-We don’t have to do it alone!
Springtime Why
My personal favorite time of the year for awakening and recharging is Spring. It’s a beautiful season.
I love it when snow starts melting and the birds start chirping. I do love winter and the snow also; however, the anticipation of NEW fills me with energy, wonderment and excitement.
Each spring I look forward to watching the birds come back and make nests in the same places.
Witnessing new birth is awesome.
I enjoy seeing flowers start to bloom. I marvel at the critters scurrying around.
There is just a certain energy I receive from each of these wonders of seasonal transition.
Winter 2021 presented us at Craft LifeStyle Management our share of sorrowful client stories and crisis clients – more intense than usual.
We have experienced unbelievable obstacles and nearly insurmountable challenges while finding a healing plan of action for our souls’ futures. Each needed our help more than ever.
Was it the long, cold winter with Covid that caused so much seclusion? Or, was it the pride of our elder clients who were telling their kids “we are fine,” but clearly weren’t?
Was it just coincidental timing when parents/grandparents, taking care of their special needs children, reached their limit and decided they can’t do it any longer?
We don’t know the answers. We never will.
We just know how to come up with solutions to efficiently solve so many safety, dignity and health concerns.
Granted some days are more challenging than others. But the Craft LifeStyle Management team keeps going until a solution for whatever the challenge is has been put in place.
The Craft LifeStyle Management team is deeply appreciative of seeing light, hope and healing for each of the souls who came to us in crisis over Winter 2021.
We want it always to feel like “Spring” for them for whatever time they have left here on this earth.
I hope your 2021 spring feels more alive and healing than all of ours from 2020.
As a reader and a writer, this reveal is not too surprising.
I study how words flow together and often applaud an author’s creative genius.
I ponder the intended meaning and am acutely aware of my reaction to the message.
When I pause to capture great messages, it’s usually because they meet a former marketing boss’s dictate: If it doesn’t fit on a matchbook cover, start over.
Words can be inspirational. Often, they are humorous. Sometimes they invoke sadness or create awareness.
Traveling adds a localism to words.
Localism in Words
Here are words I captured on our travels. Perhaps these 12 messages reflected in photographs will inspire you, or add humor or meaning to your day.
“Um”, long pause, “Where are we again?” On Wharf Street seated at a restaurant patio.
When in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada do as the locals do. Answer, “yes,” and order a beer flight paddle at the Milestones Grill + Bar. milestones (milestonesrestaurants.com)
This provoking question headlined the menu. At our table, it created much laughter and conversation about the double entendre. Clever marketing.
Messages often capture localism. This sign was seen on Washington Island in Door County, Wisconsin. Many landowners are frustrated with tourists using their property for beach access. This resident expressed his clearly, though a dictionary might’ve been helpful.
This message greeted us as we landed at LAX-Los Angeles International Airport during a renovation period. A great example of regional language. It made us smile! Acting out not tolerated.
How do you interpret this? “Mind your head” can mean make better choices and decisions. Or, if you’re a tall person, it can mean stoop so you don’t hit your head on the awning of this Antiguan convenience store.
Small in stature, I took it as the former. My 6’3” husband, the latter. Proving words have many meanings, and are often personalized.
Cottonwood Falls in the Flint Hills of Kansas is home to Emma Chase Friday Night Music. This is an open group of musicians & listeners who gather here for free jam sessions/open mikes. What to See & Do in Kansas Flint Hills – Linda Leier Thomason
This Pier 39 San Francisco, California street sign captures attention. We lived in the coastal city of Charleston, South Carolina for over two decades without seeing similar signage. The community there apparently didn’t have to, or chose not to, regulate streetwear near the water. San Francisco does, and found a creative way to communicate the message.
The placement of this message is intriguing. It hangs inside the Cancun Mexico airport. Perhaps the airport authority has seen and experienced too many unappreciative young adults and teenagers coming through their airport.
Seems the hidden message is “practice gratitude” at all ages, but especially if you are fortunate enough to be on a family vacation in Mexico.
The International Cricket Council’s message is relevant in other countries, including the USA.
Would you have guessed this is a souvenir shop in the French Quarter of New Orleans? It is. And, it aptly depicts the lingo and culture of this great city.
Seen at a convenience store off I-80 west of Omaha, Nebraska during a recent election season.
Sometimes the simplest message is the most difficult to implement. I promise.
I have a folder of photographs of fascinating word messages from all over the world. These are 12 of my favorite. Which one made you pause, smile, or some other emotion? Share below.
What word messages have you found and captured in a photo?
How did these inspire or otherwise affect you?
Do Share below.
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Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.
First Polish Catholic parish still operating in Nebraska. Opened in 1901.Tour the museum, grotto and cemetery on the property. Call ahead for personal tour.
Oldest Catholic parish in southeastern USA and where we married. Charleston is called the “Holy City” and has array of beautiful churches. Credit: Pat Ring (RIP).
This means seek permission before using copy or images from this site. Images are available for purchase.
Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.
Independence, individualism and self-sufficiency are encouraged and admired in our country. There’s nothing wrong with any of these traits. Nor is there anything wrong with needing or seeking help at any stage of life.
The challenge arises with aging.
As our bodies and minds change it becomes apparent help is needed in multiple ways. Sometimes the suggestion of help is stubbornly refused. Actual help is rebuffed.
Letting go is not always easy.
Help may seem unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
We may need help in the business of our daily lives and/or with our healthcare. Either way, if you’ve forever been self-reliant, it can be a tough adjustment.
Denise’s Advice
“I can assure you from my 30+ years of experience working with adults making transitions in life that getting a trusted professional in each of the 5 categories below, sooner rather than later, is a very wise idea.”
Make the important decisions regarding your life and your affairs while you can.
We work with the best in each category and we never take a referral fee from them.
Here are the top 5 Professionals to have on your side as you age.
Geriatrician
A geriatrician is a primary care physician who specializes in the care and treatment of older adults.
Parents visit pediatricians for their specialized training and understanding of babies and young children. On the other end of the spectrum, geriatricians are also specially trained and have an understanding of the most advanced care available for older adults.
One of the best features of being cared for by a geriatrician is that they integrate your care. They are the central point for all of the other physician specialists you may need to see. They make the referrals, set the appointments and follow up with you. They are your primary doctor.
NOTE: There is a difference between a gerontologist and a geriatrician.
A geriatrician is a medical doctor. A gerontologist is a professional who specializes in the issues of aging. They may have a certificate of gerontology.
This professional is helpful throughout your life but especially as you near retirement.
Financial advisors counsel on wealth management and personal money matters. They can assist with putting together a retirement savings plan and also address life insurance, real estate, debt payoff, and estate management.
Most financial advisors also work with your team of other professionals like attorneys and accountants to ensure your money is working in the best way for your needs.
As challenging as it is to ask for help with financial planning, medical care and legal advice, admitting you need help managing your life within your own home seems even more difficult for many seniors.
The best thing to do is make a list of tasks that you, or your loved one, seems to be struggling with. Some may include:
Personal hygiene like bathing, brushing teeth, toileting, putting on clean clothes, shaving, etc.
Mobility like taking neighborhood walks or even getting around inside the home.
Meal preparation. Everything from grocery shopping to the actual cooking.
Transportation needed for medical appointments and errands
Pet care including walking, taking to appointments, clean up, feeding, etc.
Housekeeping including laundry
Medicine management
Many services are available to assist in meeting all of these needs to help you or your loved one remain safely and easily in the home.
Contact us for assistance and referrals.
Transitional Specialists
This is what we are at Craft LifeStyle Management.
We transition clients into the right place, staying within their financial resources, the first time, all the time.
We advocate on your behalf in a timely and calm manner as we find you the most appropriate ‘home’ and level of care to fit your needs.
HINT: Be sure to click on the + sign next to each category to get more information.
Please be prepared in life. “Be in Charge. Not in Crisis.”
These 5 professionals will help coach you so you can be at peace while aging. Of course, there are other professionals needed. Today, these are my top 5 for you to have on your team.
Written by Linda Leier Thomason for Craft LifeStyle Management.
Denise Craft founded Craft Lifestyle Management in 1988 to ease the burden for families of aging, veterans, special needs adults and those in rehab during times of transition. She understands what’s involved in transitioning any individual from their personal home to their next home and to end of life. Her seasoned knowledge of available placement services, housing options, eligible benefits and payor sources, and community resources is endless.
Please contact Craft LifeStyle Management for all of your transitional needs.
